Elliptical Woman

I started going to the gym a few years ago and the habit stuck.  Usually I spend all my time with the weights and weight machines.  After open heart surgery last year, I have been using the elliptical machine too.  I assume that some aerobic conditioning can’t hurt.  It can bore you to death, but 20 minutes a week just can’t hurt.

It appears to be universal to all gyms that the cardio area is mostly for women and the weights are mostly for men.  It’s not a rule but all gyms seem to shake out that way.  In the elliptical machine area in my gym, I’ve been unable to ignore one female customer. 

She’s always there.  Like even when I go at outside of my normal schedule, she’s there, leading me to believe that she literally is always there.  She looks like a nun without a habit.  White. Middle class.  Middle aged.  Glasses.  She plods away on that treadmill, which looks like it is on some extreme uphill setting.  I come in, and she’s on it.  Forty or so minutes later on my way out, she’s still on it.  And she has a twisted up towel in her hands that she is holding against her ass as if she is also pulling herself along. She never looks like she’s happy or having fun.  

She must have done something horrible in a past life to deserve this. 

Revenge (Spoilers)

Whelp, I found a bad movie that is actually bad — Revenge. 

First of all it’s exactly I Spit on Your Grave.  Same movie.

Next, the characters endure impossible wounds and situations.  For example, Jen, our heroine, gets impaled on a small tree.  She sets the tree on fire so it falls over allowing her to escape.  But a branch is still stuck through her.  No.  Continuing this nonsense, Richard, the main bad guy, is blasted in the gut with a 12 gauge.  He goes on to chase our impaled heroine around the house.  He even wraps his wound with cling wrap.  Again, no.  Any viewer possessing even the slightest knowledge of anatomy, will laugh himself silly at the absurdity of these scenes.

Revenge was touted online and on social media as a feminist and #metoo film.  Nope.  The message in the movie seems to bet that a woman must be raped before she can stand up for herself.  I would think that in a feminist movie the woman would have fought before being raped instead of worrying about being rude.  There is an opportunity to say something about this subject here, but the director didn’t.  

Despite the above, I finished it.  It was entertaining.  I liked the heavily stylized cinematography. There was a lot of blood. The rape scene was creepy enough. And you’re glad they bad guys get killed. 

But why not stick to the original?  There is nothing new in this movie. 

Paperbacks From Hell: The Twisted History of '70s and '80s Horror Fiction

By Grady Hendrix.

This book accurately captures the feel of those years and will really appeal to the fan of trashy art.  The main benefit is the author has read all the books for you, so if you are psychotronically inclined, you don’t have to bother writing down every title and looking them up on amazon, but if you do want to delve in a thorough reading list is posted in the appendixes.  Lots of fun.  Highly recommended. 

Pet Peeves

These are two things that as a person working in retail or in a restaurant you shouldn’t say.  

The first is “Have a good one!” A good what?  You can’t be bothered to know what time of day it is?  Lazy.  

The next is “No problem!”  I know it’s not a problem.  You’re a waiter.  This is your damn job.  You’re supposed to say “You’re welcome,” after someone says, “Thank you.”

Whoever you are, please eliminate these phrases from your vocabulary.  I think it’s good business practice.  

God Bless You New York

I live in New Jersey, which is a crushing defeat for a life long New Yorker.  To get to my job in Manhattan, I take NJ Transit to the Port Authority. I almost always walk from the port authority to my job on park avenue, unless the weather is really bad.  The other day it was raining so bad that I decided to take the shuttle rather than drown.  

The Shuttle platform was packed.  But when the train pulled in and the doors opened, every commuter on the platform moved out of the way to let the passengers out.  

Only in New York.  

I have used the TransMilenio in Bogotá, and it is chaos when their bus pulls into the station.  None of the waiting passengers get out of the way.   It is a perfect example of Hobbes’s War of Each Against All.   They don’t even know they’re doing it wrong.  They all have this dumb giggly look on their faces as the push and squeeze past each other.

I thought back to Bogotá, on that packed sweltering platform that day, as I watched my fellow commuters part like the read sea,.  And I thought, “God bless you, New York, at least you got one thing right.”

Rat Bum

Couple of the fellas bike riding late at night, flying down Broadway.  As we pass a construction site, a bum comes tearing out of the darkness.  He get's scooped up on to my boy's bike.  They ride like this for about a block.  

By the time we have all stopped the bum has fallen off the bike unfazed.  We ask, "Bum, what the hell is wrong with you?”

"I saw a Giant rat!”

"Damn," says we.  

We give him a cigarette and send him back into the the darkness from whence he came.

True story.  I wasn't there. In fact the main protagonists have died.  Fuck . . . .

This started as a Reddit, reply.  Now it’s here.

Fight Valley

When I found out that Holly Holm was in a movie, called “Fight Valley,” I knew damn well I had to see it. Turned out it was on Prime Video.  It immediately went into my saved file.  Months later the GF was having a girls night and I had my chance for a perfect movie night all by myself.  This story is about what happens next.  

“Fight Valley” is an incredible film.  It shows what I can only assume is a real picture of the Camden, NJ underground fight scene.  There is a drunken ex husband/ father, who’s character is treated with objectivity and respect; an R rated, plot moving lesbian love scene, and some of the best fight scenes since Rocky.  

Tori Coro, our heroine, is living in her drunk ass father’s basement with her lover, Duke, and two other friends.  They are known as the knock around girls.  They are perpetually broke as they repeatedly attest that there are no jobs around where they live, and are thus compelled to compete in underground street fights, in an area of town known as The Valley.  One day the police show up to Tori’s mother’s house, to inform her and Tori’s visiting sister, Windsor, that Tori’s dead body has been found in Fight Valley.  Thus begins Windsor’s arduous journey from pampered princess to the ultimate street fighting machine.  

On the cover art Holly Holm is the biggest.  She really has very little screen time and fewer lines, but she delivers those lines with such grace and precision, that I felt I got my money’s worth.  The captivating storyline and other performances, especially Windsor’s, who may have been on cocaine during filming, more than made up for it.  

If you’re looking for a good education on the world of the streets, and fighting, and trying to figure out if Chris Cyborg is a man or not, this is the movie for you.  And if you’re not into that stuff, still see this movie, because it is still better than almost anything I’ve seen all year.

[EDIT]. Have added a photo.

Movie Reviews

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